I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
