he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
