just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
