Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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