More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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