sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
