my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
