I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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