If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am naked and annoyed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
