I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
