I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
