Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
