hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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