Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
