Kiss
Puke
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
