why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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