I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
