Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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