just come out here and I will go home with you...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to calm my uterus...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
