Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
