how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
