Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
