Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
