why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
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