yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
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This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
whose parrot is this?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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