I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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