this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
