made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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