I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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