i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize