Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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