Can i not drive my cunt home
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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