Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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