we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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