just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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