I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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