I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
