ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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