i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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