I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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