Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
