no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize