I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
me + whiskey = a bad person
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
