I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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