lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
