You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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