I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The best revenge is premature balding
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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