when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
