Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
