I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
