Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
