My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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