he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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