somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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