I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My pussy is not your playground.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
