I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
