thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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