Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
