yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
