He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have feelings that need drinking.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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