There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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